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Jason grabbed me. “You guys hid Chance from me before.”
“No, we didn’t,” I said. “You ran away from him. We hid him from Kieran and Eve.”
He sighed. “I ran away because I’m no good at anything like that. I’m not a good person. I don’t think I should be around him.”
“You’ll be fine,” I said.
He rubbed his face. “Promise me you’ll stay with me. You won’t leave me alone with him.”
“Who’s Chance?” said Jude from the end of the row of books.
“Your nephew,” I said.
Jude pointed at the two of us. “You guys, uh, had a kid?”
I smiled tightly. “Jason had a kid. With another woman.” I stalked back up the row to see how Boone was doing.
“Oh.” Jude looked at his feet.
Jason came after me. He looked sidelong at Jude. “She had another boyfriend, too, you know. It was Kieran. Of Kieran and Eve.” He raised his voice a little. “You know, if you’d never fucked that asshole, imagine how differently everything might have gone.”
I chose to ignore that comment. I put a hand on Boone’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
He grimaced up at me. “You dated Kieran ?”
I patted his shoulder. “And went to high school with Eve.”
“Whoa,” he said. I guess he was choosing not to respond to my comment about his parents. That was okay. I got it. After I’d found out my own parents were dead, I’d been pretty much in shock about the whole thing. For a while. Of course, at the time, I’d been running for my life. Which was pretty much the situation Boone was in, now that I thought about it.
I heard a soft sobbing noise, and looked up to see Grace, who was hugging herself and crying. Her arm had healed, but her jumpsuit was still stained with blood.
I started towards her, but Boone had heard her too. He jumped out of his chair and beat me to it, wrapping her in his arms.
I turned away, giving them privacy.
Jude scratched the back of his neck. “So, I’m an uncle, huh?”
* * *
Hallam sat across the room in a recliner, massaging the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what it is about the two of you. No matter what happens, you seem to attract danger.”
We were back in my grandmother’s old house, which I supposed was my house now. Or my house again. I hadn’t lived here for years, not since the solar flare. Marlena was standing behind Hallam, resting her hand on his shoulder. Jason and I were sitting on a loveseat, and Jude, Grace, and Boone were on a larger couch. We’d just gotten home and had been explaining what had happened for quite some time.
Jason and I looked at each other and shrugged. Our lives had been this way for ten years. We were used to it by now.
“How did you get out?” said Marlena.
“Azazel did it,” said Jude.
Jason readjusted himself so that he was staring right at me. “Yeah, gotta admit, I’m not clear on that either. You had a lot of freedom, running around the place and taking showers. How’d that happen?”
“One of the men, Bartholomew, was determined I’d be useful, even though he couldn’t use my blood. He wanted me to try to help them figure out how to breed immortals more successfully,” I said.
Marlena shuddered. “The whole concept of treating people that way is disgusting. I can’t understand how anyone could do it.”
“He was so old,” I said. “He’d been alive so long that he didn’t seem to have the same kind of moral compass that regular people do.”
Jason sighed. “Well, you don’t have to live forever to get there, do you?”
I put my hand on his knee. “We do the best we can.”
“Who were they trying to breed exactly?” said Jude. “There was no one down there anymore.”
“There was Grace and Boone,” I said. I glanced at them, but I lowered my gaze. “I’m sorry, both of you. I had to show Bartholomew that I was being cooperative in order to gain his trust.”
“Sorry?” said Grace. “What did you do?”
“The blackout was my idea,” I said. “You thought that the cameras weren’t working, but they were.”
“So you manipulated us,” said Boone.
I couldn’t look at them. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever,” said Jude. “It worked. They trusted you, and you managed to get enough access to let us out.” He turned to Boone. “End justifies the means.”
“I still can’t believe they trusted you that much,” said Jason.
“Well,” I said, “they manipulated me too. They pumped me full of blood and then snapped my neck. The effects of the blood will wear off in about a month. Then I’m dead.”
“That’s how it works?” said Hallam. “They need a steady stream of blood to maintain their immortality?”
I nodded.
“We’ll find something to fix it,” said Marlena. “You aren’t going to die.”
I already was dead. But I didn’t see the point in arguing about it. “Look, that’s why it’s important that we go back. I don’t have a lot of time, and I feel responsible for the things I had to do while I was there. We can’t leave the other Nephilim there. And we can’t let this continue.”
Hallam got out of his chair. “We’re not discussing that right now. You’ve all been through hell. You need to rest.”
“What if they come after us again?” I said. “I don’t get the impression they’re going to give up.”
“We’ll be ready this time,” said Hallam. He pointed at Marlena, then at me and Jason. “Between the four of us, I think we can take them. We’ve faced worse before.”
“What if they move?” I said. “What if they don’t stay where they are, and we can’t find them?”
“This isn’t the time to be worried about that,” said Hallam.
“Hallam’s right,” said Marlena. “I’m ordering all of you to bed. Now. Try not to think any stressful thoughts. And in the morning, you guys can see Chance again, and you can meet baby Kenya.”
I smiled. “That does sound good.”
We started to get up. Jason turned to Hallam. “Before, in the hospital, you said that there had been a decrease in violent crime while we were in the coma. Has anything changed?”
That was right. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that when we woke up, we’d messed something up, and we couldn’t remember what it was.
Hallam sighed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jason. You were in a coma. You weren’t keeping people from shooting each other.”
“So, nothing’s changed then?” said Jason.
Marlena looked troubled. “Maybe I have heard about more armed robberies on the news. A few murders.”
“Marlena,” said Hallam.
She shrugged. “Everything’s fine. The world is still ten times better than it was during the solar flare.”
Jason and I exchanged a look. Why couldn’t we remember why we weren’t supposed to wake up?
* * *
Jason and I were back in our old room. Actually, it was really more my old room at this point. After I’d kicked Jason out in 2011, I’d purged the room of all of his possessions and anything that reminded me of him. So it was strange being back here, because there was so much history in the room. Walking into it was a reminder of the person I’d been before the solar flare, and of how much I’d changed since then. The girl who lived in this room was a good person. She tried not to hurt people. The woman who walked into it now knew that even the best of intentions didn’t always guard against causing other people pain. I wasn’t the same. Neither was Jason.
He stood in the middle of the room, gazing around at the walls, my framed pictures of art prints and a bulletin board that still had a note card reading, “Paper due Friday!!” pinned to it. “Where’s my Guns N’ Roses poster?” he asked.
“I threw it away,” I said. “Sorry.” I crossed to my dresser and opened the top drawer. My pajamas were still here. I remembered packing to go on the roa
d with the Order of the Fly, right after the lights went out. I’d only been able to bring a duffle bag. I’d thought then that I would come back here. But so much had changed, so quickly, and I never had. I looked at Jason. “I didn’t throw away your clothes. I put them in big garbage bags in the closet.”
I pulled open the doors, digging through until I found the bags. I heaved them out and threw them on the floor. Jeans and t-shirts slithered out onto the carpet.
Jason knelt and touched them. “We were happy here, weren’t we? Before I fucked everything up?”
I didn’t answer. Mostly, I remembered constant arguing and unreasonable jealousy. It seemed like Jason and I only really got along well when people were trying to kill us. Eventually, I settled on, “Sometimes.”
He dug through the bag of clothes and tugged out a pair of pajama bottoms. Then he snatched a t-shirt from the floor. “I think I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay.” I went back to my dresser and got some sleep clothes for myself.
Jason hesitated at the doorway. “You think maybe it’s like that for every couple? You think maybe that’s the best there is— only being happy sometimes?”
“Maybe,” I said. “But let’s not worry about it. We don’t have time. I’ve only got a month.”
He came back to me, taking me by the shoulder and forcing me to look into his eyes. “You have to keep drinking the Nephilim blood to stay alive, right?”
“I’m not going to do that,” I said. “I won’t be like them.” Even now, I hated the charge I got thinking about ingesting the blood again.
“That’s stupid,” he said.
That stung a little bit. I backed away from him.
He touched my cheek. “Azazel, do you honestly think I wouldn’t give you my blood to keep you alive? I would do anything for you.”
When he put it like that... “They made me a monster.”
He laughed softly. “I thought that was what I did.”
I bit my lip.
He kissed my forehead. “I wouldn’t mind company in the shower...”
* * *
When I woke up, I had a moment of panic in which I thought I was still in a tiny cell. I had to get up out of bed and touch everything in the room to convince myself it was real. Jason wasn’t in bed anymore. I figured he’d decided to let me sleep. I wandered downstairs in my pajamas.
As I descended the last of the steps, I heard a shrill female voice yelling, “Chance Aaron, you get back here this instant and help me clean this up!”
Before I could move, a small streak of red hair blew past me, giggling.
Chance?
My heart leapt to my throat. The last time I’d seen him, he was only a little baby.
“Chance!” screamed the voice again, and Palomino Marx appeared in the doorway to the foyer, holding a piece of a shattered vase in one hand.
I took her in. I hadn’t seen her in years either. Not since right after her baby had died. She looked older. I was surprised at how much older she looked. Maybe it was because she looked so angry.
“Mina?” I said.
She turned to see me, and her angry expression melted away. “You’re awake.” She came over to hug me, but then stopped when she realized she was still holding a jagged shard. “I’m sorry I didn’t get up to say hello to you last night. I thought I’d hear you guys when you came in, but I was apparently zonked out.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
“Chance broke a vase,” she said, holding up the piece of it. She raised her voice. “I’m counting to three. You better get your butt back here, young man. One. Two. Two and a half...”
He raced back into the foyer, skidding to a stop in front of Mina.
“You are in deep trouble, Mister,” she said.
He looked up at her with big, brown, innocent eyes. “Sorry.”
I knelt down to be eye-level with him, to see him completely. He looked more like his mother than he did like Jason, but his eyes were exactly his father’s. “Hi, Chance.”
He surveyed me. “Hi?”
“This is Zaza,” said Mina. “You remember we talked about how she was one of your mommies when you were a little baby.”
“Oh!” said Chance, and suddenly flung his arms around me with gusto.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I hugged him back.
Just as quickly, he released me. “I had lots of mommies,” he told me in a very serious voice. “There was Mommy Polly, she had me in her tummy. And then there was you.” He pointed at me with a chubby finger. “And then Mommy Mina.”
“Who wants you to march back into the living room and help me clean up the mess you made,” said Mina, hands on hips.
Chance’s whole body sagged with the kind of exaggerated emotion only children can properly pull off. “Okay, okay. I’m going.” He scuffed his feet against the floor as he headed out of the foyer.
Mina followed him, telling me, “There are donuts and stuff in the kitchen, if you’re hungry. We’ll be in there in a minute.”
The clock on the stove in the kitchen let me know that was almost noon. I guessed I’d been really tired to sleep for so long.
Marlena was loading the dishwasher when I came in. She dried her hands on a towel and came over to hug me. “You’re awake.”
I could get used to this, I supposed. I hugged her back. “Where’s the baby?”
Marlena laughed and pointed. There was a crib in the corner, and a tiny little girl with skin almost as dark as Marlena’s was sitting inside, struggling to fit blocks through the properly-shaped hole in a toy. “You can pick her up if you want.”
I didn’t need another invitation. I picked her up and whirled her around. “Hello, Kenya.”
Kenya threw a block at my face.
I giggled, shifting her to my hip. “Oh, I just saw Chance, and I can hardly believe he was ever this small.”
“Well, I feel like she’s getting too big, too fast,” said Marlena, closing the dishwasher. “I already want another one.”
I tickled Kenya’s belly. “Of course you do. This one is so sweet.”
She gurgled and then twisted to see her mother. Immediately she screwed up her face and started crying.
Marlena sighed. “She keeps doing this. She’s beside herself if I’m not holding her.” She came over and took Kenya from me, who quieted immediately. “Hallam says we have to stop indulging her so that she’ll get over it, but I can’t handle listening to her cry.”
Palomino came into the kitchen with Chance in tow. “She’s playing you like a violin.”
“I know,” said Marlena.
I made googly eyes at Kenya. “You are so precious, yes you are.”
I felt a tug on my clothes and looked down to see Chance. “Do you want to play with soldiers?” he asked.
“Chance,” said Mina. “She’s probably very tired.”
“I thought she was in a coma and slept all the time,” he said. “Isn’t she all rested now?”
I laughed. “I would love to play soldiers with you.” I looked up at Marlena and Palomino. “Where’s Jason?”
“He took Grace and Boone somewhere this morning,” said Marlena. “Something about investigating what happened to their parents.”
“Did he see Chance?” I said.
Mina shook her head. “He was gone before we woke up.”
I sighed. Jason was avoiding his own son, something he’d done ever since the little guy was born. I wanted to throttle him.
* * *
Chance and I were sprawled out on the living room floor with a bunch of tiny green plastic men set up in a disorganized formation. “No, no,” he said. “That one is a sniper. They go up there.” He pointed to the couch. “Because they look down over everything and then they can shoot stuff from really far away.”
“Sorry,” I said, placing the plastic guy on the couch.
“No, make him face the other way,” said Chance.
I moved the soldier. “I guess I’m not very good at thi
s, huh?”
“You’re doing fine,” said Chance. “You haven’t had very much practice. Don’t worry, you’ll get better.”
I had to laugh.
“Seriously, Zaza,” said Mina from the recliner, where she sat with her legs tucked up underneath her, “you don’t have to do this. He plays by himself all the time.”
“I want to,” I said. I had never wanted to send Chance away, but our lives had been so dangerous, I wanted him to have stability. Now I felt like I had years of catching up to do. I didn’t know if I’d even be around to see the rest of his life. Jason might want to feed me his blood to keep me alive, but that didn’t mean I necessarily thought it was a great idea.
The noise of a throat being cleared. I looked up. Jason?
It was Jude. He stood at the threshold of the living room, looking uncomfortable.
Mina and I both jumped up.
“Wow,” said Mina. “He looks so much like Jason.”
“Jason?” said Chance. “When do I get to see him?”
“Soon,” I said.
“Jason is my dad,” Chance told all of us. “But he’s not like other people’s dads, because he’s been in a coma for a really long time, and before that, he was lost somewhere and no one knew where he was.”
Jude pointed at Mina. “So, you’re, um, his mom?”
“Yeah,” I said. “But not his biological mother.”
“She didn’t live,” chirped Chance.
Jude raised his eyebrows.
“It’s confusing,” I said. “Palomino used to date my little brother. They lost a baby together, and so, when Chance needed someone to look after him, we thought she might want to be the person who did it.” I introduced the two of them formally, and they shook hands.
Chance got up off the floor and came over to us, peering up at Jude. “You’re my dad’s brother?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That makes him your uncle.”
“Hey,” said Jude, smiling down at Chance.
“You wanna play soldiers?” asked Chance.
“Chance,” said Mina, “adults don’t always want to play games. You can’t pester them like that.”