Out of Heaven's Grasp Page 6

  The elders themselves still hadn’t spoken. Gideon was doing all the talking. Didn’t the elders have anything to say? They were the ones who were supposed to be running the community, after all, not Gideon.

  Gideon laughed. “You’re unrepentant, and you’re a stain on your family and on this congregation.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “You have blasphemed against the holy spirit,” said Gideon.

  What? Blasphemy against the holy spirit was the unforgivable sin. It was in Mark and Matthew, and Jesus said that anyone who did it was subject to eternal condemnation. But I’d listened to people in the community discussing the verse, and no one was really clear on what blaspheming against the holy spirit even was. Here was Gideon, however, claiming I’d done it.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

  “You’re no longer welcome amongst God’s people,” said Gideon. “You are to leave this community and never come back. We must cleanse ourselves from those such as you.”

  My stomach felt like someone had dropped a brick into it.

  “Depart from us,” said Gideon. “We never knew you.”

  This couldn’t be happening. I’d heard of it happening to other guys in the community. There were at least two others that I knew had been kicked out. But I never thought it would happen to me.

  Gideon’s eyes narrowed.

  I felt sick.

  * * *

  Abby

  My father said that the elders wanted to talk to me. I hadn’t had the courage to ask him what he thought about the idea of Jesse marrying me, although I knew my mother had talked to him about it. I loved my father, but he always seemed a little distant. He had three wives and sixteen children, so he was a busy man. I knew he cared about me, but I also knew that he was fairly annoyed with me because I’d caused trouble.

  He drove me to the meeting hall, just the two of us. I couldn’t go see the elders without my father being present. Even though I rarely got to spend time alone with him, I couldn’t think of anything to say when we were in the car. He seemed so disappointed in me. I stared out the window and felt guilty instead.

  When we arrived, Jesse’s father was walking out of the meeting hall. His face was drawn and tired.

  Jesse lagged five or six feet behind him. He was practically stumbling. He couldn’t seem to keep himself upright. He turned his face towards me, and I saw that he had a black eye and a busted lip. He looked horrible. His father had done that to him. I just knew it. Everyone in the community knew that Nicholas Wallace beat his family, and everyone knew that it wasn’t a godly thing to do, but nobody ever said anything about it. Nicholas’s family was his own business, as far as everyone was concerned.

  Seeing Jesse hurt like that made something inside me feel broken. I wanted to run to him and take him in my arms.

  I tried to communicate something to him with my expression.

  But Jesse didn’t even seem to acknowledge me. He stared through me. His eyes were unfocused. There was a hollow look to his expression. It was as if something in him—some spark or life-giving light—had been extinguished. He looked destroyed.

  What had happened to him?

  I let out a sharp gasp, and my father took me by the shoulders and turned me away from Jesse.

  We went downstairs to the Sunday School rooms. The elders were waiting for us there, and so was Gideon. They all looked very, very serious.

  I was beginning to feel terrified. What had they done to Jesse? If he was that bad off, there was no chance of things working out for us, was there? So, then, what were they going to do to me?

  “Hi there, Isaac,” said Gideon, nodding at my father.

  “Hello, Gideon,” my father replied.

  The other elders all greeted my father, and he greeted them in turn. I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t my place to speak unless I’d been spoken to.

  Gideon gestured to two chairs that sat in front of the elders’ table. “Go on and have a seat.”

  We sat down.

  “I’m sorry that we aren’t meeting under happier circumstances,” said Bob Carroll. He was one of the elders. Everyone called him Uncle Bob. He had a big picnic every year on the Fourth of July and invited the entire community. I’d always liked him, because I remembered that he was one of the few adults who ever talked to me when I was a little girl.

  My father nodded. “It’s true. My Abigail has definitely been rebellious, but I’ve been praying about it and my wives have been praying as well, and we all feel as if the Lord is directing us towards Abigail simply marrying the Wallace boy. It seems as if she’s making it known that she’s old enough for marriage. After all, our children can’t avoid the temptations of the flesh forever.”

  My heart leapt up in hope. Maybe it could all work out after all. My father had spoken for me. I wanted to give him a huge hug, but I simply sat quietly and respectfully.

  Bob looked down at the table, clearing his throat.

  “I’m afraid that’s impossible,” said Gideon. “God was quite clear when he spoke to the elders about this incident, and the Wallace boy would only serve to drag your daughter even further into iniquity.”

  My father raised his eyebrows. “Certainly, they shouldn’t have been sneaking around. But nothing really happened between them. They were just kissing in the back fields. When I was that age—”

  “Just kissing?” said Gideon. “Do you think that is how the Lord views their transgression?”

  My father looked uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to being spoken to that way. My father was one of the respected members of the community. His father had been an elder before his death a year ago, and everyone fully expected that someday my father might become an elder as well.

  Father might have accepted it better if it had come from one of the elders, but it was Gideon speaking, who was young and had only become part of the elders’ circle to help settle ties amongst the six of them.

  “I would think,” said my father, “that the Lord knows what’s in the hearts of these kids, and I can tell you right now, my Abby’s heart is in the right place. As for the Wallace boy, he’s always seemed like a good boy to me. He’s the oldest in his family, very responsible. And we all know that living under Nicholas Wallace can’t be easy. When we were walking in, we could see that the man had turned the poor boy into a punching bag.”

  Gideon’s nostrils flared. “Well, Isaac, you may see the Lord that way. But may I remind you that the Lord is also a vengeful, jealous god? He does not want his people to place anything higher than submitting to his will, even their own teenage lust.”

  My father nodded. “Of course, Gideon. It only seems to me that—”

  “It’s not up to you,” said Gideon.

  My father looked at the other elders, almost as if he was expecting them to intervene on his behalf. But all of them sat silently, watching Gideon.

  “It’s up to God,” said Gideon.

  My nervousness had returned, and it was growing worse. Something bad was about to happen. Gideon was dead set against a marriage between Jesse and me, that was for sure.

  My father bowed his head. “And as a humble servant, I submit to his will.”

  Gideon smiled in satisfaction. “We all do, Isaac.”

  It was quiet. I shifted on my seat, waiting, feeling apprehensive.

  “Well,” said Gideon, “we questioned the Wallace boy extensively. It seems your daughter was lucky enough to escape his sinful intentions for her, and her virtue remains unsullied.”

  My father drew himself up. “There couldn’t have been any question—”

  “However,” said Gideon, “she has also proved herself to be a very willful girl. Very willful indeed.” He eyed me, and I didn’t like the way his gaze crawled over my body. “I do believe you’re right that she’s making it known she’s old enough for marriage. But she’ll need the hand of a strong husband to keep her in line.”

  My heart sank. He was going to marry me off t
o someone older, someone who already had a wife or two. I wasn’t going to be with Jesse after all, and I wasn’t even going to be with someone young or attractive.

  “I think that perhaps Bob would be a good fit for Abigail.” Gideon turned and smiled at Bob Carroll.

  I couldn’t breathe. What? Bob Carroll was in his sixties. He’d been one of the original members of the community, and he’d known Robert Morris. He was old enough to be my grandfather. And… and he already had three wives.

  My father was stunned.

  “What do you say, Bob?” said Gideon. “Do you think you can help curb the willful impulses of this girl and guide her to be a good Christian woman by your holy example?”

  “I do,” said Bob. He smiled at me.

  I started to shake.

  “Gideon, I don’t understand,” said my father.

  “The Lord has spoken,” said Gideon. “Abigail will marry Bob.”

  The words ripped out of me. “I can’t.”

  They all turned to look at me. I’d spoken without permission, and I wasn’t supposed to do that.

  But I didn’t care. “No one has more than three wives. It’s against the revelation.” When Robert Morris had received the word of God that men were to have more than one wife, he’d carefully stipulated that no man was to have more than three. Though it was possible for God to love everyone equally, a mortal man was not capable of dealing with the needs of more than three women and her children at once.

  Gideon glared at me. “You are speaking out of turn, Abigail.”

  “But she has a good point,” said my father. “This isn’t done, Gideon.”

  “God has revealed to the elders that they are holy men, men after his own heart,” said Gideon. “They, just like King David of old, can take many, many wives.”

  I shook my head. No, this couldn’t be happening.

  Bob was still smiling at me, but there was something in the way he smiled that made me feel uncomfortable. He was staring at me like he owned me already.

  Gideon stood up. “Go and prepare yourself, bride. You will be married tomorrow evening. Make yourself ready.”

  No. No. This couldn’t be happening.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Abby

  I sat at the dining room table, feeling numb and confused. Lunch was over, and my other mothers were cleaning up in the kitchen with my sisters. But my birth mother and my father sat with me.

  My mother was holding my hand. “Isaac, this can’t be. Bob can’t marry anyone else. He already has his three.”

  My father shook his head. “Gideon said the elders had a revelation that they can have more wives.”

  My mother sniffed. “Well, that seems awfully convenient for them, doesn’t it?”

  He gave her a disapproving look. “They are men of God, Judy.”

  My mother squeezed my hand. “But she’s so young. She’s too young to be with a man like that. And he doesn’t need her. Why, he’s probably only got a few more years left to even have children. You’ve got to go back there, Isaac, and you’ve got to tell them—”

  “They wouldn’t listen to me.” He still looked stunned. “Gideon kept talking over me, and he seemed determined to disagree with everything I said. He had it all decided.”

  “But why can’t she marry Jesse?” said my mother. “It’s what she wants.”

  At this, I suddenly started crying.

  My mother put her arm around me. “Shh, sweetheart.”

  “They cast the Wallace boy out,” said my father.

  “Oh, I see.” My mother’s voice was quiet. She held me close and stroked my hair.

  My father stood up. “Well, Judy, it’s no good encouraging her. God has spoken, and we must obey. Acceptance is transcendence.”

  Her arms tightened around me. “Heavens, Isaac, it was hard enough for me to marry you at her age, and you were only ten years older than me with two wives. This man is more than forty years older than her. It’s not God behind it. It’s Bob Carroll’s lusts.”

  My father slammed a hand down on the table.

  Both my mother and I jumped. I stopped crying, and she let go of me. It wasn’t like my father to hit things.

  “Listen to me, both of you,” he said. “There will be no more of that kind of talk. We must trust in the way of God. God speaks to us through our elders. We cannot believe they’ve become corrupted.”

  “Maybe it’s not the elders,” said my mother. “Maybe it’s that Gideon.”

  “The elders have accepted him, and we must accept him as well,” said my father. “Now, not another word. I mean it.” He glared at us.

  My mother folded her arms in her lap.

  I hiccuped.

  “Try to be happy, Abby,” said my father. “If God wants this for you, he has a reason. And, after all, you were disobedient in running around with that boy. You brought this on your own head.” He left the room.

  I bit down on my lip.

  My mother took several deep breaths.

  Neither of us said anything for several seconds.

  Then she turned to me and pasted a bright, happy smile on her face. “Well, we’ll have to make your wedding gown, sweetheart. Won’t that be fun? You’ll be a beautiful bride.”

  I started crying again.

  * * *

  Jesse

  My father stopped the truck. He and my mother had driven me out about five miles from the community. I had a backpack full of clothes and a little bit of food. But no one had spoken to me since my father had given them the news. I was now cast out, and I wasn’t considered part of the family. In their eyes, it was as if I had never been born.

  All that was left was to get rid of me.

  My body still hurt from the beating that father had given me, but I hardly noticed the pain, because I was too stunned by what had happened. Things at home had never been a paradise, but I knew that my mother loved me, and that my father, in his own way, cared about me too. Now, they were barely acknowledging me.

  “This is it,” said my father. He leaned over the back of the seat and gestured towards the door.

  My mother buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders started to shake.

  I swallowed. I put my hand on the door. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. Maybe one last assurance from the two of them, a heartfelt goodbye, something.

  But my mother just cried in the front seat without looking at me, and my father’s eyes narrowed.

  “Don’t make more trouble, boy,” he said. “Get out.”

  I opened the door. Slowly, I got out of the truck and shut the door.

  My mother raised her face to look at me. She put her hand against the window. Tears were streaming down her face.

  I started to feel a little choked up too.

  But then the truck sped away—just like that—kicking up dust behind it, and leaving me all alone on the side of the road.

  I stared after it, watching it disappear into the distance.

  Just like that, huh? My whole life gone? Everyone I’d ever cared about gone?

  I couldn’t believe it.

  I didn’t move for what felt like ages. It was as if I was frozen, too stunned to function anymore.

  The worst thing about all of this was how little sense it made. I had heard that Abby had been assigned to marry Bob Carroll—who already had three wives. And I could hardly believe that, because Gideon had seemed so convinced that I’d had sex with Abby. When I’d denied it, he’d called me a liar. And he’d cast me out because he thought I’d lied.

  Or because…

  If he really thought that Abby and I had sex, then he wouldn’t be marrying her off. She’d be tainted.

  That meant that Gideon had just thrown me out because he felt like it.

  And I hadn’t liked the way he’d assumed the worst, or the eager way he’d asked questions about what I’d done with her. He’d seemed almost excited by it.

  So, if he knew that I was telling the truth, why was I being kicked out?
>
  Suddenly, my sadness switch off.

  One minute I was confused and hurt. The next I was angry.

  It had never been about me, had it? It had been about making sure that I didn’t have Abby, so that he could give her to some old man. Some guy who didn’t need any more wives.

  I didn’t want to let Bob Carrol have Abby. Not at all.

  I was supposed to keep heading away from the community. I could get to Melville, the nearest small town, if I kept walking.

  But back in the community, I had my own truck, and I wanted it back. I’d saved up money for that thing and bought it myself, because it was the only way my father would let me get a vehicle. I was the one who paid the insurance every month. I knew that, technically, my father was the head of the family, and so he owned everything that his wives or children owned. But I also knew that according to the laws of the world, that truck was mine. And since they’d kicked me out of the community, those were the laws I was going to follow.

  I was going to get my truck, and then I was going to get Abby. There was no reason for her to stay there. She could come with me. We could be together, like we wanted.

  So I turned around and began walking back toward the community.

  * * *

  Abby

  Nothing felt real.

  Whenever I tried to wrap my head around what was going to happen, I couldn’t quite believe it.

  I’d always known that I had no say over who I would marry, but somewhere deep down, I’d always believed it when they said that God told the elders who the right person was for each girl.

  Now… I wasn’t sure.

  I didn’t want to marry Bob Carroll. Even though he’d been nice to me when I was a little girl, I’d never thought of him as marrying material. I’d thought of him like an old, kind uncle. To think that I was going to be tied to him for the rest of my life, that I was going to have his children, that the rest of my entire life was already decided…

  It didn’t feel real.

  I staggered through the rest of the day. My mothers all got in on the activity of making the wedding dress, and I stood there while they cut up fabric and pinned it around me.

  They asked my opinions on various things. Did I want a high waist? Did I want lace trim on the end of my dress?