Between the Heaves of Storm Page 22

  He was giving Jason’s powers to Eve? But…why?

  Eve looked at me over the book. She whispered something to me. Something I couldn’t really hear, but it looked like she mouthed, “Trust me.” And then Eve started to read.

  Tiny strands of light began to pour out of Eve’s mouth. They writhed like tiny snakes, and they wrapped themselves around my arms and legs, winding around my limbs before traveling on to Jason.

  I watched as the strands tangled themselves around Jason’s body, winding around his neck and biceps.

  And Eve kept reading.

  The strands dug into Jason’s skin, and I felt them tighten around mine. And then sensations began to rush through me, feelings of happiness and togetherness. Unity. Euphoria. It was the way I’d felt when Jason had been controlling my mind, and it was so good. I wanted to get lost in it. But then, images began to float through me as well.

  Marlena. But she was a little girl, playing hopscotch outside an apartment building in the city.

  A ratty hotel room, the TV blaring 90s cartoons.

  The feel of a gun in my small hand. A man over me with a beard, explaining how to load it.

  These were Jason’s memories! What had Cameron said? That he needed someone with a connection to reflect the memories back so that they wouldn’t be transferred? I had to stop the flow of Jason’s memories. I concentrated on them, on blocking them, on bouncing them back at Jason.

  In the next second, the strands on my arms grew white hot. I cried out. They were burning me! Wisps of smoke were floating off the strands and the smell of burning flesh filled the air.

  Suddenly, the entire world whited out, and there was a sound like a cross between a boom and crash.

  When I could see and hear again, I was lying on my back on the stage. Jason was moving again. He was trying to stand up. I reached for him. “Are you okay?”

  “I feel weak, Azazel,” he murmured. He tried to push himself up, but he lost his balance and sprawled on his backside on the stage. But he knew my name, which meant he still had his memories. So that was good. Now, we had to get his powers back from Eve.

  Eve was on her feet, rolling her head around on her neck. She looked all around her, as if she was seeing everything for the first time. “Cameron,” she said. “This is amazing.”

  I bet it was amazing. That bitch. She had no business with Jason’s powers. All of this was stupid anyway. We’d been vulnerable because Cameron had blocked Jason’s powers and then had used magic against us. If only we’d had time to eat that herb that Edgar had showed us earlier.

  Wait. The herb. I had some in my pocket, didn’t I? I checked. Yes. Pulling it out, I snuck some of the leaf into my mouth. I handed the rest to Jason, checking to make sure Cameron and Eve weren’t watching. They weren’t.

  “It’s just that I’m not really sure how I feel about you anymore, Cameron,” Eve was saying. “You’re really kind of controlling and mean.”

  Geez, you think, Eve? I hated her. The plant tasted bitter as I chewed it in my mouth. Jason was chewing too and making a face. I guessed he didn’t like the taste either.

  “Oh, please, Eve,” said Cameron. “I’ve given you the gift of these amazing powers, and you think I’m mean?”

  “I only think,” said Eve, “that you’re maybe not the right person for these powers. That maybe it’s not supposed to be me and you as the lovers who rule the world.” She walked over to Kieran. “Maybe it’s supposed to be me and Kieran.” And then she kissed him.

  I almost spit out the leaf in disgust. I couldn’t deal with the image of Kieran kissing Eve. Eve was so repulsive, and Kieran— Kieran was mine. Hadn’t he always been there for me? Comforted me? Supported me? Why had he turned against me with…her?

  Cameron staggered backward as if something had zoomed into him and punched into his gut.

  What had happened to him? That didn’t make any sense. I stood up. Jason was able to get to his feet too. We looked around. It seemed to be affecting everyone. All the members of the coven and the army men were doubled over. Jason and I were fine. We exchanged a wary glance. What was going on here?

  Cameron straightened. A smile wreathed his face, but not one of the cruel smiles he’d worn before. Instead this smile illuminated his face, making him look young and carefree. He ambled over to Kieran and Eve, clapping both of them on the back as they continued to kiss.

  They parted, turning to look at Cameron.

  “I think you’re right,” said Cameron to Eve. “It is supposed to be you and Kieran.”

  Eve smiled at both of them, looking radiant, like a bride on her wedding day. “I think so too. This just feels right.”

  “It does,” echoed Kieran, making lovesick googly eyes at Eve.

  I wanted to vomit.

  “When you kissed,” Cameron said, “it was like this weight was taken off of my shoulders. I’d been harboring all this fear and anger and hatred, and somehow, your kiss washed it all away. Now everything’s just, well, great.” His bewildered grin got wider.

  Now I realized that everyone around us had these creepy zombie grins on their faces. They all looked completely happy, totally fulfilled. Everyone was…beaming. I reached for Jason’s hand. This was really freaking me out.

  Arm in arm, Kieran and Eve walked over to Jason and me.

  Eve grabbed my free hand with both of her hands. “I know this has got to be confusing for you two, but you can see how much better everything is now, can’t you?”

  I looked at Jason. I couldn’t. Could he? He gave me a skeptical look, so I could tell I wasn’t alone. No, whatever creepy thing had just happened seemed to affect everyone except us. And since we didn’t have any magic, that didn’t make any sense. We weren’t special anymore.

  Kieran was talking. “Giving up your power to bring peace to the world is such a noble sacrifice. We can’t thank the two of you enough. And we promise we’ll do a better job than you guys were doing.”

  What?

  “Don’t you see?” said Eve. “Your powers were meant to be combined. They were meant to be possessed by two people who were in tune with each other. Not by people who wanted to use them to fight each other. Now that the powers reside in less volatile hands, a true era of peace and prosperity can happen.”

  Wait. Edgar Weem had said that the people in England had longed for Jason after Jason and I had kissed last spring. I hadn’t remembered when he was talking about it. Not then. But now I knew that the big fluctuation that people had felt in Europe was the kiss Jason and I had shared. During that kiss, we’d been bigger than everything. The people of earth had been nothing more than insects. We could bend each of them to our will. We could do whatever we wanted. We, in the moment, had ruled the world.

  I was aghast. “You stole our powers so that you could control the world?”

  “We will heal the world,” said Kieran. “Together our powers will make a utopia for all living creatures. Don’t you feel it rushing through you now? The energy of togetherness and peace?”

  “Honestly,” said Jason. “No. But we did just get finished ingesting a leaf that blocked magical powers.”

  The leaf! He was right. We were immune from the crazy good vibes everyone was feeling because of the leaf. “Yeah, and I rejected this whole idea last year because it’s wrong to control people’s free will that way,” I said to Kieran. “You can’t do this.”

  “What we do cannot be wrong,” said Kieran. “We are the guardians of the earth. We are the fused powers of chaos and order. We transcend right and wrong.” He said all of this with a tranquil look on his face. He’d gotten really weird, really fast.

  “You see,” said Eve, “we are here to save humanity. You’ll understand when you see it. It will be perfect.”

  Kieran and Eve gazed into each other’s eyes and started to drift away. They stepped off the stage and into the grass of the flood plain. Kieran turned back to me. “Oh, Azazel. You and Jason will need to look after Chance now. He’s waiting for you in B
ramford.” They walked into the field slowly. Members of the coven and army men alike started to follow them, dreamy looks on their faces.

  Cameron grinned at us. “Aren’t they a great couple?”

  Jason shook his head. “This is really weird.”

  “You’re not wrong,” I said.

  EPILOGUE

  ~jason~

  Before it was fall, the world was healed. Kieran and Eve installed themselves in Washington, D.C. They had no resistance from any of the Order of the Fly because all the people were completely taken with them. Everyone practically bowed down and worshiped Kieran and Eve. Within weeks, they had been able to mobilize a group of people eager to fix transformers up and down the coast. By late September, electricity had been restored almost everywhere.

  There was no need for any kind of detailed government hierarchy anymore, because no one wanted to commit any kind of crime. Everyone was simply happy. They were so happy that they were eager to share with each other. People didn’t steal; they just asked. And everyone was happy to give.

  Kieran and Eve established communication with other governments by the end of July. Everyone wanted to know when they could travel to America to see them. But Kieran and Eve told them not to worry. They would come visit them. And so, as summer faded, its last scorching days eking out across America, Kieran and Eve embarked on a world tour. They would visit each and every continent. Each and every country. And when they reported back, they would tell us how happy everyone was. How peaceful. How the world had become a paradise.

  Azazel and I fought it at first. We were disturbed by the shiny, happy people everywhere. We kept a large quantity of the plant Edgar had showed us, and we chomped on it constantly. After we went to Bramford to collect Chance, we gave it to him too. There was something completely and totally screwed up about the entire thing. We were both sure of it.

  At first, we were too consumed by cleaning up to do much thinking about it. We were staying in my old house in Jasontown, and we spent our days burying the dead. There were so many. Cameron’s OF army had destroyed them all. Jasontown was in ruins. First, I had practically sent it to hell and then Cameron had come in and finished the job.

  I didn’t talk about it, but with every dead face that I gazed into as I shoveled dirt over it, I felt my responsibility more and more heavily. Azazel tried to get me to bond with Chance, but I couldn’t hold him close. I felt like putting my hands on that child would transfer something from me to him. I didn’t want him to have any of my darkness. I didn’t want to destroy him the way I’d destroyed the people of Jasontown. They’d had no choice. They’d come because I called, and they’d stayed because they believed in me, and I had let them all be slaughtered. A man who does that...well, what kind of father can he really be?

  When the bodies were gone, it was early August. We set about trying save what we could of the crops. Some of them had been baked to death in the heat. Others had been eaten by insects and animals. Others had ripened and fallen to the ground. We harvested what we could. While we did, Azazel chattered to me about what we could do. We had to strip the powers from Kieran and Eve. We had to give back free will to the people. “If anyone can do it, it’s you and me,” she said.

  But I knew that there was too much darkness in me to be the hero. I wouldn’t be the one to save the world. I wasn’t sure if anyone would really thank us if we took away their peace and happiness. But then, I realized, maybe it wasn’t about the people of the world for Azazel. Not really. Maybe it was about Kieran. He’d been taken from her. Maybe she wanted him back. So I agreed to help, because I’d meant what I’d said earlier. If I could give her a happy ending, I would.

  We sketched maps of Washington, D.C. We hatched plans to dose the water supply with the plant we chewed to keep our wits about us. We didn’t know when we’d strike. We never seemed ready. One night in late August, after Chance was in bed, we were pouring over one of our plans again, looking for loopholes, looking for ideas. We were getting nowhere.

  My mind was wandering. I said, “After we do this, I want you to take Chance again.”

  She gave me a funny look. “Where are you going to be?”

  “You and Kieran will be better parents than—”

  “Hold on,” she said. “Who said anything about Kieran?”

  I was confused. “I thought that was why you wanted to do this. I thought you wanted him back.”

  She shook her head. She began gathering up the papers we’d spread out to look over our plan. “I’m doing it for the people in the world. I’m doing it to give them back their free will. I don’t give a damn about Kieran. He made his choice. He chose Eve.”

  So, it wasn’t about Kieran. “Now that you remember him, I thought—”

  “For God’s sake, Jason, everything on earth is not about which guy I pick.” She shoved the papers into a sloppy pile.

  “Have you considered that the people in the world might not want their free will back?” I said. “Have you considered that they might like being happy?”

  She stared at me like I’d gone crazy.

  “I’m not cut out to save the world, Azazel. I only want to try and do what I can to make up for all the awful things I’ve done to you. That’s all.”

  She looked away. “Maybe I don’t care about all of that anymore.”

  “How could you not care? After everything I’ve done, how could you not care?”

  She took a deep breath. “Before I lost my memory, I was out of control. I was sending people to die. I was obsessed and confused. And after I lost my memory, when I found you again, it was like...I found myself again. Even while you were controlling my head. Being with you made me remember who I was. You’re important to me. You help me be...me.”

  I shook my head. “That’s crap, Azazel, and you know it. I did awful things to you. How could any of what you just said make up for that?”

  She looked frustrated. Then she came to me and cupped my face in her hands. “Because I forgive you. Because I’m drawn to you. Because you’re Jason.”

  She couldn’t do that. She’d done things like that before. She’d let me sweep it all under the rug. And look where it had gotten me. I thought of all the bodies we’d buried. No. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. I needed to pay. I needed to suffer.

  But she was close to me, and then her arms were around me. Her lips were on mine. Her hands were under my shirt, pushing it up, pulling it over my head, and I was losing myself in her fiery kisses. It was too much not to hold her small, soft body against mine, to remember all the places she liked to be touched, to hear her breathe my name. She wasn’t Joan. She was herself. And for me and Azazel, it had been so long.

  But in the morning, I couldn’t.

  I left her sleeping there. I went outside to the place where we grew the plant that blunted the magic, and I ripped all of it out of the ground. I shoved it in bags. I would take it away. I would let her be happy. I would.

  I went back into the house. She was still sleeping. I looked in on Chance. He was awake, but he wasn’t crying yet. He was sitting up in his crib, babbling to himself and playing with his stuffed animals. Mostly, he was saying baby nonsense words, but he threw in real words too. Anything he’d learned, which at this point encompassed a bunch of different animals, plus names for Azazel and me. (Zaza and Jay, respectively.)

  I patted his head. He was growing a shock of carrot-red hair, just like his mother. Another person who was dead because of me.

  “Not you, Chance,” I said to him. “I’m not going to ruin you.”

  “Jay,” he said, followed by a string of babbling noises.

  I kissed his forehead. “Jay go bye-bye.”

  He recognized the word and raised a chubby hand to wave at me. “Bye-bye,” he said.

  I nodded and waved back. “Bye-bye.” There was a tear leaking out of my eye. Irritated, I rubbed it away and backed out of his room. That was enough.

  I took the plant and left both of them to feel happiness. They we
re better off that way. They were better off without me.

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  That Last Onset

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  THAT LAST ONSET

  The mornings were the worst. That was when I awoke from the dreams that came to swallow me up like sharks swimming in deep water. There were so many faces in the dreams. Girls who looked at me with terror in their eyes and begged for me to let them live. Men who shrieked like children as I tore off their fingers. Groups of people smiling at me in beatific joy as I ordered them to run headlong into slaughter. So, so many faces. And they were all dead.

  I was the one who’d killed them.

  Sometimes when I woke up in the mornings, gray light hammering into my skull through the holes in my threadbare curtains, I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore.

  But I couldn’t end it. That wouldn’t be fair to all of those who’d died. It would give me peace. It would give me blissful nothingness. And I owed it to them to suffer. I could offer none of those faces anything to make up for what I’d done. All I could do was tell them I was sorry. And that I didn’t forgive myself. I never would. I’d punish myself for as long as it took.

  Maybe the evenings were the worst. After the work of the day was done, and I’d put in my time on the farm hoeing and planting and harvesting. When the twilight came in and blanketed me before I was tired enough to sleep. When there was nothing to occupy myself with but thinking. When it seemed there wouldn’t be any way to handle the anguish if I didn’t channel it somehow.

  The knives looked so tempting then.

  But I’d stopped cutting myself.

  It was juvenile. I wasn’t some teenager, wearing black clothes, hoping for the attention of my mommy or a guidance counselor. And the cutting made me weak. Too much blood loss meant I wasn’t productive. If I were weak, people got suspicious. And if people got suspicious...