The Killing Moon Read online

She was really losing her mind now. Because before, she’d always heard Cole talking to her, remembered things he’d said in the past. But now she was hearing him talk about her. And she’d never heard him say these words before.

  She picked up the pace, struggling to force the wolf down.

  She had to get this under control somehow. She couldn’t trust herself anymore, and she never knew when the wolf was going to try to push its way out.

  But who could help her?

  She couldn’t trust Chantal anymore. Chantal had taken Cole away from her. She had to convince Chantal that she was okay now. Otherwise, she’d never see him again.

  She had to convince everyone she was okay. Avery. Ursula. Hollis.

  There wasn’t one single person she could turn to for help.

  She was going to have to figure this out herself.

  Except...

  Maybe there was one person who could help her. The person who’d started all of this. Cole. He would know what he’d done to her. He would be able to tell her why she was losing control of herself. Maybe he knew a way to fix it. After all, Cole was always in control of himself. She’d never seem him struggle with his wolf.

  Cole had been trying to teach her what he knew, but he hadn’t finished. They’d been interrupted. If he’d finished with his lessons, maybe this would all be better.

  She had to get back to see Cole.

  But she couldn’t. She’d been ordered to leave him alone, to stay away from him. Not only for the sake of her own health, but for the sake of the case.

  She couldn’t go see Cole.

  She ran harder, trying to push the thought from her head, and soon...

  It seemed almost as if she had. The blood pumped hot in her veins, pulsing against her skull. Sweat poured over her flushed skin. She was tired, dead on her feet.

  She managed to get back to her apartment, but she couldn’t handle a shower.

  Instead, she simply collapsed on her couch. Her eyes closed, and she fell asleep almost immediately.

  But right before she was dragged into dreamland, she thought it again. Her last thought before sleeping.

  I need to see Cole.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Six months ago, pain shot through Dana’s limbs as her bones collapsed back into human form. She sagged against the chains that held her, her naked body covered in a sheen of sweat as she hung there. She was tired. “Not again. Don’t make me do it again.”

  It was the third day that he’d been forcing her to shift like this. Over and over. Wolf to human. Human to wolf. One second she was herself. The next she was engulfed in animal darkness—like sinking into black water. She never did it right, though. Not the way Cole wanted. He was never satisfied. And so for days, they’d gone back and forth. Dana felt like she was helpless to resist him, like she couldn’t do anything except give in to what he wanted.

  But she hated it.

  Cole wasn’t wearing his glasses. His chest was bare. He wore only a pair of jeans with a hole in one knee. His feet were bare. He rolled his head on his shoulders. “Stand up, Dana,” he growled.

  “No.” She was so weak. She’d just hang from the chains. She couldn’t possibly use her feet to hold up the weight of her body. She was too tired.

  He was next to her, hands on her waist, lifting her, forcing her legs to straighten.

  At some point, they’d both gotten used to the fact she was naked. Cole’s previous shyness about it seemed to have melted away, and if Dana had felt ashamed or embarrassed before, now it meant nothing compared to the overwhelming exhaustion she felt.

  She pressed her toes into the cold of the concrete floor, flexed her legs, and then relaxed, letting him take her weight again. “I can’t.”

  He glared into her eyes. “You can.”

  She didn’t have the energy to argue with him. It was hard enough to hold up her head.

  “You’re making this harder than it needs to be anyway,” he said. “If you’d just stop fighting your wolf, merge with it, let it become one with you—”

  “Stop it,” she managed. “Stop spouting all that mystical shit. I’m letting the wolf out. I’m not fighting it.”

  “You are fighting,” he said, “or you’d be aware of what was happening after you shifted. You’re afraid of the shift. You have to do it over and over again, until there’s no fear.”

  “I’m not afraid of it,” she said. “I’m just sick of it.”

  “You need to welcome it.”

  “I never will.” Her chin jutted up defiantly.

  He let go of her, and she sagged against the chains again.

  “You might as well kill me,” she muttered.

  “For fuck’s sake, Dana.” He drew a hand over his face, and she watched his taut, lean muscles ripple in his upper arm. Then he let his body sag too, not quite as dramatically as hers. “Fine.” He reached above her head, working at the chains.

  A half-hearted leap of excitement. He was freeing her?

  But no, he only loosened the chains, so that they didn’t force her upright. He lay a few blankets on the floor, and she gratefully sank down on them. She could sit now, her hands in her lap, even though they were still shackled. She almost curled into a ball. It had been quite some time since she’d been allowed to change position. She’d been sleeping standing up. She looked up at him, and she felt a surge of gratefulness. “Thank you.”

  She knew it was idiotic to feel thankful towards her captor, to the man who was torturing her. But he was all she had now. The world had become small and focused. There was the basement. There were the concrete walls, the drain in the center, the chains that held her. And there was Cole. She remembered that there was more to life, but all of it seemed fuzzy and distant. Cole was real. The chains were real. Shifting in and out of being a wolf, that was real.

  Cole looked down at her, an expression of what seemed to be genuine tenderness on his face. Of course, he was insane and mentally unbalanced. Whatever he thought of tenderness was only a distorted view of it. It still made her melt a little. She found herself smiling at him.

  He settled down next to her on the blankets, sitting down as well. “I’m trying to help you, you know?”

  “By killing me.”

  He touched her cheek. “We’ll let the wolves decide that. I don’t want you dead. I want...” His fingers traced her jaw.

  She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his feather-soft touch. “I don’t understand. I keep shifting. Why haven’t you just shifted yourself and gone ahead with this duel?”

  He stroked her neck. “I won’t do that until you are aware during the shift. Until you are both the wolf and the woman at the same time.”

  “That’s not possible.”

  His touch traveled over her shoulder. “Of course it is. I can do it. You can do it too. It will just take time. I’m willing to wait.”

  “I’m tired, Cole.” She sounded pitiful, and she didn’t care.

  Cole’s other arm went around her, and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her bare flesh touched his, and she sighed.

  “It will be over soon. Just let go, find the wolf within you and surrender to her. Don’t fight her,” murmured Cole, trailing his touch over her upper arm, dancing over her elbow, and running against the soft flesh of her waist.

  She moaned, opening her eyes. “Why won’t you just let me go?”

  He smiled sadly. “I can’t.”

  “Sure you could,” she said. “You could unchain me and you could give me clothes and—”

  She broke off, because Cole’s hand had closed around one of her breasts.

  She drew in breath sharply.

  “I can’t let you go.” He squeezed the mound of flesh gently, then brushed her nipple with his thumb.

  She groaned.

  He pressed his lips against her temple, then her ear. “So beautiful, Dana.”

  He shouldn’t be able to do this to her. His touch shouldn’t undo her. She shouldn’t be grow
ing moist and eager in all the right places. He was a bad man. She hated him. And... dear God, she wanted him. She arched her back, pressing her breast more firmly into his hand, writhing against him as he fondled her.

  He lowered his mouth to her breast, and it was bursting pleasure.

  She threw her head back, sighing.

  “Do you feel the wolf?” He was speaking against her breast, his hot breath tickling her nipple.

  She shivered. And she did feel it. The wolf was stretching languorously inside her. The wolf was eager, ready to be let out. “I think so.”

  He kissed his way over to her other nipple. “I feel my wolf. But it’s different than the way it felt at the SF. It’s not...” He closed his lips around the sensitive nub of flesh, sucked.

  She moaned.

  “It’s not violent and angry, taking over me.” His voice was thick with desire. “It’s just another part of me. I can let it out soft and easy.” He touched her, fingers on one of her breasts, his mouth on the other. “Do you feel that, Dana? Do you feel the wolf?”

  She wasn’t sure what she felt. Everything was a swirl of sensation. Lust, exhaustion, pleasure, disgust... The wolf was at her spine. Its claws were caressing the base of her skull. Or was that Cole’s hand? Or was his hand between her legs?

  “Shift,” he whispered. “Shift for me.”

  “No.”

  “Nice and easy, Dana. Let it happen. It’s natural, just like getting wet.” His fingers slid between the lips of her sex, nudging her clitoris.

  She felt like she was falling apart. It felt so good. She was so tired. Everything was confusing.

  And his voice was there, always his voice, smooth as cream, flowing over her. “Shift for me, Dana.”

  * * *

  “I resent that,” said Beverly Martin, crossing her arms over her blue jumpsuit. “I do not have an obsession with being a werewolf. That’s like telling a feminist she has an obsession with being a woman.”

  Beverly Martin was talking. Dana kind of wished that she was still being quiet. The woman had a very overbearing manner. She clearly thought highly of herself, and she took offense at anything she perceived as a slight, whether Dana meant it or not.

  “We don’t have to use the word obsession,” said Dana. “But according to your friends and family, you seemed to become much more interested in werewolves seven months ago. Would you say that’s true?”

  “No,” said Beverly. “I know who told you that too. My ‘best’ friend Yvonne. She’s having an affair with my husband.”

  Dana sighed.

  “You don’t believe me?” said Beverly. “Ask them. They aren’t ashamed of it at all. They didn’t have any problem telling me about it. Why do you think I chomped up that grocery store?”

  “Are you now claiming that you killed the people in the grocery store on purpose?”

  “I’m not claiming anything,” said Beverly. “Look, the point is that I have no rights. I’m a werewolf, and I ain’t got rights. You’re keeping me locked up here with no trial, no lawyer, no phone call.”

  “Mrs. Martin, I assure you that if you need to contact someone, arrangements can be made.”

  “No trial.”

  “I’m trying to help you,” said Dana. “I’m looking for evidence that you didn’t do this on purpose. But you say you did it in order to get back at your cheating husband, which doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. I mean, why not just kill him?”

  “That’s not why I did it,” said Beverly.

  “So, why, then?”

  “I...” Beverly took a deep breath. “What was it you were saying about looking for evidence that I didn’t do this on purpose?”

  “I’m investigating that possibility.”

  “And what would happen if you found evidence to support that?”

  “A lot of things.”

  “Would I be released?”

  Dana didn’t want to make the woman lie just to get out. She wanted the truth. She really shouldn’t have let Beverly get to her. “I don’t know one way or another on that. It wouldn’t be my decision.”

  Beverly smiled. “But you’d have to let me out, wouldn’t you?”

  “Like I said, ma’am—”

  “I’ll answer your questions,” said Beverly.

  “Do you feel that you became more interested in being a werewolf seven months ago?”

  “Not really. But maybe I did. I really can’t be sure,” said Beverly. “I know that at one point in my life, when I was younger, I wasn’t that interested. I got more interested as I got older, but I can’t say exactly when it happened. Could have been seven months ago.”

  This woman was now saying anything she could to try to get out of the SF. Dana was going to have to word these questions carefully. She forced her face to be expressionless, not wanting to give anything away to Beverly. “Is it correct that when you shifted in that grocery store, it was the first time you’d shifted since being in the SF as a teenager?”

  Beverly chewed on her lip. “You know, it’s funny that you should ask that.”

  Was Dana imagining it, or did Beverly seem more sincere? “Is it?”

  “A while back. I don’t know how long. A long while back on a full moon, I thought I might have shifted. I know I lost some time. But I’m not sure. I sure didn’t hurt anybody that time.”

  That was similar to what Coraline had said. Hot damn, was there an actual pattern? Dana struggled not to smile, still not wanting to give anything away to Beverly.

  “Have you ever had any contact with Cole Randall?” Dana asked.

  “Cole Randall? The serial killer?”

  “That’s right.”

  Beverly shook her head slowly. “Why would you ask me something like that?”

  “Have you or haven’t you?”

  “No, of course not,” said Beverly.

  “Listen, if he’s threatened you, we could protect you,” said Dana.

  “I wouldn’t lie to you,” said Beverly. “I’ve never met the man. Besides, his threats wouldn’t scare me. I’ve seen pictures of him. He looks harmless.”

  Dana pressed her lips firmly together. Beverly Martin was beginning to infuriate her. “All right then, thank you for your cooperation.” She stood up.

  “Wait,” said Beverly. “Was I supposed to have talked to him? If I say yes, does that mean I get to leave? Because maybe I have talked to him.”

  Dana headed for the door. “Thank you, Mrs. Martin.”

  “Wait, he was in contact with me!”

  Dana closed the door on Beverly, heaving a huge sigh.

  Avery was standing outside waiting for her. Dammit. They were down in the maximum security wing questioning the rogues. She’d hoped she’d be done sooner than Avery, and that she could sneak down to see Cole. No such luck.

  * * *

  “I don’t understand,” said Hollis from her couch. “How did he force you to shift?”

  Dana was coming back from the kitchen with two cold sodas, one for each of them. The interview was winding to a close, and she was thirsty. It had only seemed fair to offer one to Hollis too. “I don’t know exactly. It’s possible that I only did it because I was under so much stress and pressure. I was probably pretty impressionable at the time.”

  Hollis pursed his lips. “Seems plausible.”

  She handed him the soda.

  “Thanks,” he said. “And that’s how you got away?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “He unchained me after he had forced me to shift the way he wanted me to, and I got away.”

  “He didn’t try to stop you?”

  “He was a wolf at the time as well.”

  “So?”

  Dana opened the soda and took a long swig. She really wished Hollis wouldn’t push about this part. This was the touchy part. This was where she’d really lied, not just left things out. “He might have chased me, but he didn’t catch me.”

  “So you got free, and then what?”

  “Then I called for help, a
nd the SF was able to track Cole and bring him in.”

  “Track him? Had he fled from his house?”

  “Yes, I think he did. He must have realized that if I’d escaped, people would be looking for him.”

  Hollis drank some soda and set down the can on Dana’s coffee table. “Well, I guess that’s it then.”

  Really? She wasn’t going to have to endure any more of these interviews?

  “I’ll be talking to Randall, of course,” said Hollis, “and I might double-check some things with you, but I think I’ve got what I need.”

  “Great.” She smiled.

  “Hey,” said Hollis, “don’t look so happy to be rid of me.”

  “That isn’t what I—”

  “Teasing.” He grinned at her, dimples and all. He switched off his recorder. “Actually, I was wondering if we could talk.”

  “About?”

  “You know, what happened last time,” he said. “Does that happen every time you get... excited?”

  Dammit. He wanted details on that. She’d made them up last time. What if she said something now that contradicted what she’d said before? She decided to stay as vague as possible. “I don’t know. I haven’t exactly been dating since it happened.”

  “I’m not going to lie. It was pretty scary. You freaked me out.”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” He shifted on the couch. “I’m just... I mean, that’s why you said you couldn’t be with anyone, right? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”

  “That’s part of it,” she said. Now that this lie had become so significant to Hollis, she wanted to minimize it. “There’s also the fact that I’ve been terrorized by a crazy man. I haven’t been in the mood for going out with someone.”

  “But you knew about this too. Right? Because all that shifting he made you do made you unstable.”

  “I guess so.”

  He picked up his soda, but he didn’t drink it. Instead he ran a finger around the rim. He didn’t meet her gaze. “Thing is, Dana, even though it was scary, it was kind of...”

  “We don’t actually have to talk about it.”

  “I want to, though.” He looked up at her. “It was fucking sexy, okay? I mean, I was scared to death, but I was really turned on.”

  Dana hadn’t been expecting that. She gripped her can of soda tighter, her fingers denting the metal.

  “You were obviously having fun too, and so I was thinking that maybe... you know, if that’s the only reason that you don’t want to be with me, maybe I don’t mind so much. Maybe I could handle that.”